Sunday, April 27, 2008

And life goes on and on and on and on and on and on...

Warning: if your going to read the following post: please keep in mind that i am desensitized to being embarrassed about my body and i will be more blunt than a bull. i talk about poo- alot. yes, if i were "normal" and not even going though what ive been experienceing the past 2-3 years, i wouldnt even mention this, but now i really dont care and for me its like something i talk with everyone about like 100 times a day.

Todays problem: cold, sore throat, red throat, ache everywhere, oh and did i mention the large amount of blood comming out of my rectum?
yes, im bleeding out my pooper and im feeling extremely miserable and scared about it. this went on all of yesterday too when we (mom, dad, verna, ron) were watching Ster-bears musical performance (which was AWESOME btw). Im not sure why this is happening to me now, but it was like i had to poo every 15 minutes; and half of the time it was just pure blood mixed with very few flakes and liquid. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME??!! and to make it worse, my gastrointologist is on vacation for the next week or so (good luck trying to get an appointment; hes probably booked up for at least 2 months). I swear, its always something with my body. i know ive never been extremely healthy as a child; but COME ON! Lymphotic Colitis?? at 22?! man, i have a non-contagious desease that people "cant" even get until their at least 50. 50!!! And as if that wasnt bad enough, i have also had some bladder lining thing IC for the past i dunno, year? its like every time i pee in burns like heck...for hours and sometimes days afterward. Sex was the most painful thing in the friggen world. and it sucks because i went from doctor to doctor to obgyn to obgyn and none of them knew what was wrong and like idiots the just said "maybe you have a bladder infection" and throw me on some crummy medicine that i now know made it WORSE. and im on a super strict diet where i basically can only eat carbs and veggies (no fruit or spices of any sort) and if i even touch anything else: BAM! it starts all over again and lasts for a week. I acidently ate chili last monday and it still burns a little; and is iritated all the time. it feels like i have to pee and i cant sit still.
MY BODY SUCKS!!! well at least i have a pretty face and am barely starting to lose all the weight i gained. My hair is also gorgeous. so im happy with that. just anything below my brests and skin is crappy i suppose. anywho im sleepy again so im going togo back to sleep. im sorry for my complaints; evey once and a while you just need to scream to the world. haha. sorry.

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