On monday i go in for surgery- not thats its a risky surgery, but theres always risk when going under anesthisia and i just want to make sure that Miley knows for a fact how much I love her.
Currently My little princess is 5 months, 1 week, and 3 days old. how exciting my time wiht her has been. im so thrilled to get to spend every waking moment with her- even if she is screaming her head off. I love her precious smile and her little laughs. i love it how she will knowingly play tricks on me and how she expresses her personality so openly. she will alwways make me laugh. she even goes out of her way to do things she knows will bring a smile to my face. a few days ago she ended up sucking on my cheek- first out of teething and wanting to suck on something- but when she realized it made me laugh to the point where i almost peed my pants, she kept doingit and laughed herself. since then, during a game of horse, she will rock all the way forward and suck on my cheek and laugh while shes doing it, knowing that it tickles me and so we laugh together. another game she plays with me is she will pull my hair or shirt or some part of me to her face and put it in her mouth- she gets this adorable "im going to do something silly" look on her face as she does it too. i love it how she always pulls me in for kisses- even if its just her sucking on my lips, she knows that it means affection and "i love you". sometimes she will even use the high pitched "i love you" tone i use with her when i tell her how i feel about her and she will say three silibals, as if she means to say "I love you!" to me. i love how she touches my cheek so tenderly when she talks to me. now i even get to wake up to her singing to me. she will tug on my shirt until i wake up, smile, say something sweet in a loving airy voice, then when i tell her "good morning my beautiful princess!" she will sing to me. she will take deep breaths and in that sweet airy voice do long tones of music. She always smiles and loves it when i sing to her, shes the best and biggest fan ive ever had. Miley will even try to duet with me every once and a while. I wil sing and she will join me, and if i stop, shell stop until i start again. its so cute! im amazed at how important this little girl means to me. even at less than 6 months, i feel as if ive known her my whole life and that she is the best friend i will ever have. shes so smart. she understands picking out her own clothes. i will lay several outfits in frount of her when she is on her tummy, and she will prop herself up on her arms, take a few glances at each outfit, then grab one, stick it in her mouth, roll over and play with it like a toy. when i ask if she wants to wear it, she will look at me and talk like "yeah, this is the one i want to wear today" and not give a second look at the other outfits as i take them away. i love her so much. i love it when she gets a huge and devious smile on her face then a second later you hear her rip a fart. i love it when she even fills her diapers, because she will roll over and put her legs up and becon you to check the diaper and change it. I love how she enjoys baby wipes. she always give a :ahh" sigh of releif when they touch her cute little butt (she has her daddys bottom :) I love how excited she gets when we do the "new pants dance". she will always smile and giggle, and if i forget to do the new pants dance, she will put her legs up and move them and her arms around and hollar at me like "wheres the dance, dont forget my dance!". even whenn we do the new pants dance afterwards she moves her arms and legs in excitement and give and exasperated sigh like "That was fun!". I love the sparkle of her pretty dark brown eyes and how wonderfully happy she is every morning. i love how when in bed trying to get her to sleep she just rolls over after or as im feeding her and be on her belly and turn her head to look at me and smile and say something to me or have her eyes closed and her mouth will suck the air and when she opens her eyes to notice im not right there feeding her shell wine like "get over here!". shes so spoiled. even my mom and april are amazed that i can feed miley while shes on her belly. so spoiled and adorable. i love how my baby turns heads. i love how people are drawn to her and know instantly that i love her more than anything- even enough to deck out her carseat with pink frill and toys everywhere. i love picking her up in the air and plauing airplane. i love how i can swing her around and chew (num num num) on her tummy or little legs in the air and she laughs and giggles. i love her smile and adoration. i love to watch her sleep and wonder what she dreams of. when she scowels in her sleep i will put my head to hers and sing while patting her belly or back and that usually makes it better. i love how i can feed her when shes aleep- i love it how she looks for my niple and always finds it. i love it how one time we were shopping and her little hair was staticy and clinging to the top of her car seat that she was in. it was so adorable! a few days ago we were playing horsey and miley stood up on her own without my help or me hoding her- TWICE! i was amazed. she even did it twice today too and tony was amazed! she is contantly amazing me. shes so strong! her little legs really hurt when they kick me in the face (which she loooooves). she supports herself so much with her legs and all i do is hold her hand. its like she already knows how to stand up! i just know shes going to walk before she crawls. even with sitting, she sat one time after a bath and didnt sit up until a week ago when we introduced a new toy to her and she just sat up instantly to play with it like shed been sitting all her life! on eo fmy favorite things is when were both on our sides on the bed facing eachother and shes in the fetal position hooked up to me and im in a somewhat fetal position surrounding her. i love feeling her little body curled into mine it gives me the most wonderful feeling like i have to protect her and the ultimate love for her. i love it when she looks up at me and smiles or talks to me with those big brown eyes soo sweetly like im the greatest thing in the world.
Miley,
I hope that grow up strong and are an active Latter Day Saint. I hope that you find a man worthy of you. I want you to know that you are more precious and special than anything or anyone else. For the man you marry, choose someone with the same belifes as you. Choose someone who loves you for you and is willing to give and serve you. Choose a giver- they may not be as 'adventerous' or 'dangerous' or maybe not as 'fun' as society may think, but they will love you unconditionally and always choose you over anthing. Choose someone smart, both in life and experience (this doesnt mean book smart necicarilly). As a woman, you should know that we mature mentally and physically much quicker than men. I know that first hand the 'fun, adventurous, dangerous' types dont always end up being the right type. even though its exciting, you mostoften find your heart broken and that can bring you down. dont ever let anyone tell you your worthless, ugly, boring, or any other negative names. These are all false and not true. Even if he apologises a million times, you dont let anyone talk to you or treat you like that and you find the strengthy to leave (I will even carry you if you need me to). You are the most beautiful creature that graced this Earth. You, Miley, Are the prettiest, smartest, funniest, talented, funest and strongest person i know- an so far you are only 5 months old! I can already tell you are talented and fun because you always come up with new ways to make me laugh. i know your a lover and giver because of how you always bring a smile to my face when im down (you littely smile and talk to me when im sad until i laugh and smile) and how you gracefully acknowlege me with loving words and tones. i know how smart you are because i can see you figure things out. in your first few days of birth, at the hospital you put your hand on mine and streached out your curled fingers and just stared, examining how much bigger i was than you. i could see your little mind thinking and figuring out that i was a giant; but one that would love you and take care of you more than another- including daddy! I hope that you are a creator and not a destroyer. in the time that you were born, there is so much hate, selfishness, destruction, and dishonesty. i pray that you will not take part in this. learn to love your parents (and grand parents) and honor them. learn to help others before yourself. yes, you are the most important person out there, but in service you learn to be humble and when you are humble by choice you become so much happier. Please choose a mate whom is humble. Watch out for your children as i have you. your family and children will be the most valuable thing you take from this life. Even if your child is unplanned, love them and take care of them. I will always help you. Since I can remember, I have prepared for you- long before i met your father, long before i went to high school, long before i was even old enough to date (which is 16 by the way)- i have prepared for you, My Miliey Liane Smith. You will one day experience the joy of being a mother. When that time comes you must throw away any selfish needs or wants. Your child will be the most important thing in your existance. No matter how theyve shamed or dammed you, you must always love them unconditionally. you must teach them love and forgiveness. do not hold anger. this is something ive had to deal with towards past and present offenders. do not blame. do not be afraid to take responsibility for your faults- instead be honest so you may learn from mistakes. "A wise man learns from his mistakes; a wiser man learns from the mistakes of others." 'when Thomas Edison was asked about his hundreds of failed attempts at making the lightbulb, he responded they werent failed attempts; just ideas of how not to make a lightbulb'. dont look at things you do as a failure. think of them as learning experiences. Uncle Michael always asks his children when they bump their heads jumping off a bed or falling down "What did you learn?" He does this not to offend his children, but to make them think about their actions and the consequences. even if we do something good we should ask what weve learned. we learn that sharing and service makes us happy and feel good inside. we learn from everything and when we learn- wether from life lessons, lessons of others, or by books- we gain knowlege and knowlege is a power that we will take into our next eternal life. I pray that you will be much like me when it comes to love, kindness, and patience. Your father is wonderful, but can be rash at some points. please excercise patience and love with him. He grew up very differently than how i will raise you and your furture siblings. His life was hard and full of blame and lies. Although he loves you almost as much as i do, he has a hard time expressing love and feelings. please, do not be afraid to say "I love you."
"I love you Miley! More than the sun, moon, stars and the heavens. I will always be there for you no matter what you do wether good or bad. I will always do my best to watch over and protect you with all of my being. Dont ever let anyone belittle you. you are the most precious, bautiful, intelegent, smart, adorable, georgous, loving, adoring, sweetest little girl God has had the pleasure of creating. I am so very very happy to be blessed and honored to be you mother. You were meant to come to this Earth and fufill a wonderful destiny and life- God has made sure to keep me here long enough to have you, and I hope he will have me stay on this Earth long enough to see you mature into a fine loving daughter, wife, and mother. I love you more than anything Miley and My love for you will never dwindle. I love you" ~*~ Mom (Stephanie Dawn Smith) Friday June 4, 2010
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